the energy of money

A lump formed of resentment and regret lodges in my throat when I think about money. Even the process of writing about it causes distress. Heck, three sentences in and I'm ready to save as draft.

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I wasn't kidding. It is now the day after I started penning this. Why is it a struggle to write about money? Because it brings up current struggles and the past few years worth of trials and tribulations on the financial front. Frustration stems from having and continuing to work hard at my education with little financial gains to show for it. I half joke that I went back to school and will likely be just as poor with four degrees as I am with three. I'm willing to take that risk. (I'm also taking advantage of in school deferment on my loans.) The resentment arises when I witness societal inequities in opportunities and entitlements for those of us "living in the middle" (too poor to get by, too rich to get help). I am trying to learn how to let go of these and other frustrations and resentments because they certainly do not serve me.

My belief is that our hearts and souls must be open to allow things into our lives. My frustrations and resentments are blocking the energy of money. Today I am choosing to make a conscious effort in dropping these blockers and let the good come in. I'm opening up for opportunities to come my way. I'm using my eyes to find new ideas and means of supporting my family. I am letting go of worry that bills will not get paid (because they will). I am giving for others to benefit from receiving.

Today I am saying "YES!!!" to letting in the good.

love you life and it will love you (most of the time)

These past couple of weeks seem to be filled with intensity.

Health scare/health scare not existing
Connecting with people/hearing about the death of an amazing person
Being in an unfulfillable place/doors opening
Being asked to be a godmother/not having a church to certify my holy-roliness

It fascinates me how energy seems to find balance, whether it is some mellow medium or at extremes.

What also fascinates me, sometimes in a scary way, are religious extremists. I'm not even referring to the ones you see on the news, as scary as they are with their violence and hatred. What I am talking about are people that have found Jesus/religion (not a bad thing) but then take it to the extreme as if it were an addiction. That's the part that I find scary. I have seen self-proclaimed saved people spew hatred for others because their belief system is the only right one and the others are wrong, wrong, wrong. Seems to me that if your belief system truly is the only right one, then why worry about other peoples' beliefs if they are not directly harming yours? Their beliefs do not make your beliefs untrue, why do you get so upset about it? It's not good for your blood pressure and it certainly isn't good P.R. for your religion: "Our way is right, your way sucks. Hey, you wanna convert?"

I am all for faith, spirituality and religious freedom, but I am against hatred towards others because they don't call their god God. And why attack a holy book based on what you think it says, why not read it and judge for yourself? Reading another religion's holy book does not mean you agree with it. At the very least, read Aldous Huxley's Perennial Philosophy and maybe you will start to realize that there is a common truth throughout all the major religions so there really is no need for ire.

Then take the positive energy you have from your beliefs and help your community. Don't waste time on hatred, it's unproductive. Be a mentor, donate time in a food pantry at a time other than the holidays, visit an elderly neighbor, donate money to a cause you believe in, walk a shelter dog, become a foster parent, start a neighborhood clean up, or smile at someone on the street that may even have a different faith than you. Positive energy can balance out as much as angry energy in a much nicer way.

Do good in this world and it will all be good, no matter what god/God/goddess/Yahweh/spaghetti monster you pray to...

and always....Om Puppy.