I spend too much time up in my head and thinking and planning for the future. Often, I have to remind myself to take the time to just stay present, grounded in the here and now. Some days flash by with busy-ness, where thoughts are only on what I need to get done and doing it. Most days, I am focused on things I want to accomplish and what needs to get done to reach my goals. Within the flurry of thoughts and actions to reach goals, I need to stop and take a breath, to observe the here and now.
There are times when these mini "now breaks" come without conscious reminder. This morning I experienced one of those times. I woke up before Greg had to get up for work and took some time just holding him, feeling him next to me, and holding hands. Nothing else existed in my awareness except the here and now. It was a moment of calm, bliss and serenity, no thoughts, plans or worries. As the clock ticked closer to the need to get out of bed, I was thrilled when Greg uttered, "I should be up already, but I will stay two more minutes." Two more minutes of here and now, with Greg. I even stayed in the present while making fruit smoothies for breakfast....yay rawfoods!
One of the aspects of my studies at Naropa that has aided me in being more in the here and now (and less up in my head) was the Buddhism bend to the program. Four semesters of meditation and classes in tai chi in addition to the focus on the transpersonal for three years, taught me how to ground myself; how to lower anxiety and truly experience life while living it.
We cannot stop planning for the future, but it is imperative to not miss what is happening in the present. Take a deep breath. Fill your lungs with life-giving air and just be here......now.
Showing posts with label Naropa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Naropa. Show all posts
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
a room with a view inside
I keep having dreams about studio apartments. Three of them in the past four nights. The dreams appear in real life color and there is ample space in each of them.
Out of all of the abodes I have resided in, only one was a studio apartment. It was very small but wonderful with a huge closet and a retro kitchen on one wall. Located in the historic district of Boulder, Colorado, it consisted of one room on the top floor of an old house. My window faced the backyard and alley. Not a city alley, but a dirt road that runs behind some residential houses where driveways, garages and garbage cans are. I had one particular squirrel who would climb on my screen everyday in hopes of some handouts. Since I am a pushover for cute furry vagrants, he ate well. I shared a bathroom with a 20-something triathlete who wasn't around much. Downstairs in the two larger units were Carrie Jo, a Canadian performing arts major, and Miss Sis (Betsy), a world-wise massage therapist with many stories to tell. Most evenings, Carrie Jo, Miss Sis and I would spend our evenings sipping wine, laughing and telling tales of life and (occasionally) debauchery. Those were wonderful times spent with some wonderful women!
I had moved into this home when my relationship with A ended. I was struggling with change and, being in Naropa's graduate program for Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, was already peeling open the layers of my psyche in my processing classes. I was raw and vulnerable and trying to figure out what exactly the meaning home was. My room at my parents' house now contained some of my grandmother's furniture. I no longer resided with A and our dog. I was living 2000 miles from New York and only had my friends from school around me. It was difficult but in the process of finding this place, signing the month-to-month lease and experiencing living there, I came to the conclusion that, for me, home is within me and yet it is so much more. It is a feeling of comfort that I can hold myself in. It is having a loving family and circle of friends that are always there even when you do not get to speak that often. It is in a space that just feels right; a corner of the world that is uniquely mine. It is also what I can share with Greg, with my family, with friends and even with the occasional acquaintance through a simple smile or kind word. I have taken that feeling with me and hold it close to my heart always.
As I have been mentioning, changes are inevitable and currently looming large. Tied in to these dreams of apartments is our meditating on what to do now that our lease is coming to an end. I just know that if we move to another apartment, home will come with us. Of course, I'm hoping home will also be larger than a studio apartment physically. And I know, without a doubt, it will continue to grow larger in my heart. Home, sweet home.
Out of all of the abodes I have resided in, only one was a studio apartment. It was very small but wonderful with a huge closet and a retro kitchen on one wall. Located in the historic district of Boulder, Colorado, it consisted of one room on the top floor of an old house. My window faced the backyard and alley. Not a city alley, but a dirt road that runs behind some residential houses where driveways, garages and garbage cans are. I had one particular squirrel who would climb on my screen everyday in hopes of some handouts. Since I am a pushover for cute furry vagrants, he ate well. I shared a bathroom with a 20-something triathlete who wasn't around much. Downstairs in the two larger units were Carrie Jo, a Canadian performing arts major, and Miss Sis (Betsy), a world-wise massage therapist with many stories to tell. Most evenings, Carrie Jo, Miss Sis and I would spend our evenings sipping wine, laughing and telling tales of life and (occasionally) debauchery. Those were wonderful times spent with some wonderful women!
I had moved into this home when my relationship with A ended. I was struggling with change and, being in Naropa's graduate program for Transpersonal Counseling Psychology, was already peeling open the layers of my psyche in my processing classes. I was raw and vulnerable and trying to figure out what exactly the meaning home was. My room at my parents' house now contained some of my grandmother's furniture. I no longer resided with A and our dog. I was living 2000 miles from New York and only had my friends from school around me. It was difficult but in the process of finding this place, signing the month-to-month lease and experiencing living there, I came to the conclusion that, for me, home is within me and yet it is so much more. It is a feeling of comfort that I can hold myself in. It is having a loving family and circle of friends that are always there even when you do not get to speak that often. It is in a space that just feels right; a corner of the world that is uniquely mine. It is also what I can share with Greg, with my family, with friends and even with the occasional acquaintance through a simple smile or kind word. I have taken that feeling with me and hold it close to my heart always.
As I have been mentioning, changes are inevitable and currently looming large. Tied in to these dreams of apartments is our meditating on what to do now that our lease is coming to an end. I just know that if we move to another apartment, home will come with us. Of course, I'm hoping home will also be larger than a studio apartment physically. And I know, without a doubt, it will continue to grow larger in my heart. Home, sweet home.
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