i usually like roller coasters

Roller coasters: Seriously love them. The feeling of motion, speed and zero g's. Amazing. However, roller coasters in life, errr not really. The past few weeks have had moments of elation and love of life, potential opportunities of the good kind, and serene, contemplative moments, but there is also some potentially negative events occurring on a bodily level that have sent me reeling. (I will write about this on my finding maitri blog. Email me for permission for access to this blog if you care to read more)

It is just so amazing that us humans can experience so many concurrent emotions. The up and down kind, I am not a fan. The concurrent and dichotomous emotions amaze me. I have written before about the underlying pervasive joy of which I still experience. With the not-so-good stuff happening: one day I am at ease and acceptance, the next it hits me and gives me a feeling of overwhelm. At these moments, I tend towards introversion and withdrawal. I find this is how I recharge myself with introspective thinking and solitude. I know this is only temporary as I will have a deeper knowledge of what is or isn't going on with my body next week. Until then, I will just have to ride the roller coaster over each summit and dip.

layers

It is amazing how many different layers of emotions a person can feel simultaneously. Joy, frustration, anger, elation, curiosity, caring, selfishness, selflessness, motivation, laziness and more are all swirling around in a cirque-like number of color and sound. Amazingly, it feels fantastic! I feel ALIVE and ready to take on ANYTHING. I am OPENING my heart wider and telling the UNIVERSE YES!

a brief look at what i am

I am eying inspiration all around:

In other peoples' accomplishments
In nature
In my dreams
In art
In recognition
In kind words


I am feeling anxiety:

In my own fears
In my environment
In events I cannot change


I am experiencing chaos:

In the nature of my work
In the mess in my sink
In the incomplete projects


I am engulfed in joy:

In my relationship
In my family
In my pets
In my goals


I am plagued by germs:

In my puppy
In myself
In my allergies


I am intrigued by curiousness:

In my career path
In my life's travels
In the next step
In learning


I am gaining awareness:

In who I am
In where I am going
In loving what is


... i am.