toes should not be these colors

It is simply amazing what I am capable of doing to myself. Only I can cause my toes to not only have a faint base of black and blue, but also add a ring of purple and a splat of jet black. But, come on, how can you possibly expect me to see the giant three seat couch sitting conspicuously against the wall and not in the normal path of walking?

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, once a klutz, always a klutz! Yes, I am the same person who stabbed their own foot with a pitch fork when I was 8 years old.

ouch ouch... ouch!

Despite my recent improvement in health via a vigorously consistent yoga practice and healthy eating plan, my upper spine is causing havoc on my whole body. It amazes me how a slight misalignment can throw everything off. My energy is sapped, my my hip joints and right shoulder are aching and my muscles are knotting up. Yoga and deep, mindful breathing is helping but alas, it does not appear to be enough.

So, what to do? The rack? Hang from a cliff to allow gravity to readjust me? Have heavy-set elves walk on my spine? Decisions, decisions, decisions! Any ideas?