fat and happy

Baby and Me

I'm posting this for all of us that read the "I can't believe how quickly I've gotten the baby weight off" posts on message boards and think "sheesh, what the heck is wrong with me and my jiggly body?"
I was overweight pre-getting-knocked-up. I put on close to 60 pounds during pregnancy. I'm many weeks postpartum and I still have some of the baby weight on my already fluffy body.

I'm big.
I'm curvy.
I'm voluptuous.
I have more to hug.
I know it's going to take a lot more time to, not only lose the baby weight, but to also get my fitness swerve back on and reach my goal weight again.
And that's okay!

I'm also happy. This body put on weight to help grow this beautiful, perfect and healthy child sleeping in my arms.
These larger-than-ever breasts nourish her.
These jiggly arms cradle her.
This close-to-double chin gives her a safe spot to nuzzle.
This extra layer of fat keeps her warm when she snuggles up.


The weight will come off and my muscles will have strength and definition again.
In the meantime, I will love every extra inch of this body between now and goal because it belongs to me and my baby. I am no less of a person because there is more of me.

Pure Joy

yes yes

The daily yoga practice continues and I am on day 13 of diet. Though I am staying exactly at my daily points, I am unhappy with the amount of processed foods I am consuming. As this 30 Day Points Challenge continues, I am also working on decreasing the processed foods. More specifically, I want to rely less on frozen meals for my weekday work lunches each week. Yes, they help me track and keep within my points, but I know I feel better when I am not consuming such foods. And, yes, I know that only means a maximum of five such meals a week. And, YES, I know I consume a lot of fresh veggies and fruits daily. I just want to eat as healthfully as possible and this convenience food is not cutting it. Plus, my favorite local (to work) health food store has not been carrying my favorite vegan sandwiches anymore and the ones they have now do not have nutritional labels. I am thinking of reincorporating some of the raw meal lunches I have made before to get away from the "frozens". Of course that means I need to hijack the full size food processor from my mom again. (Oooo! Something to put on my birthday wish list!!)

Regardless of this personal dilemma, I am feeling wonderful and have already lost some weight I weigh on Sundays so I do not know how much I have gone down this week, but I am already down 5.2 as of last week.

Woo Hoo!

thirty part two

131.365
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

As I indulge in day twenty-six of my 30 Day Yoga Challenge, I take stock of the past few weeks. The yoga challenge has to be one of the best decisions I have made for myself. My confidence is up, my body is grateful, and my mind is focused. Yoga has now an established itself as a goal for integrating into the rest of my life. It's that good!

Having pondered the next challenge for a few days, yoga has guided me into the decision: weight loss. As my body has improved, I have become acutely aware how the excess body weight hinders some of the asanas. To do this, I am following the tried and true portion controlling power of Weight Watchers. For me, this program offers what I need: tangible guidelines (point tracking/journaling) and an accurate scale, since our home one is no more than an approximation of gravitational pull.

I am actually quite excited about this challenge. Like an eager child waiting for his ice cream cone to be handed over the counter (good choice of simile, eh?) I cannot wait to see how my yoga improves as the scale goes down.

Of course, this is more than a thirty day task, so the specific challenge is actually following the program to the letter for the first thirty days. Getting started is the hardest part, so the this gives me more incentive.

I know this is not quite a resolution, per se, but I would love to hear what your goals are for 2009, or this month, or the next thirty days, or today.

slow and steady....

......wins the race!

I am a third of the way to my weight loss goal. I feel great, my pants are falling off me and I have more of that old Melissa spunk coming back to my self image. There is still a ways to go, but I will get there; I am confident of that. Maybe I should buy a belt so I stop inadvertently mooning the neighbors......

self examination

self study II
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

As I get healthier, stronger and lose weight, I am amazed how my body is changing. More specifically, I am amazed that I have been exercising without using excuses to skip workouts. I feel better, physically and mentally.

Now it is time to make myself uncomfortable by slowly examining myself, every perfect flaw and all. Of course, it is safe to start with the parts I like and then ease into the other parts, but this is one way I am working towards making myself whole and continuing to improve myself.

aaaahh, what's up, doc?

Raw foods! I am loving this way of eating! I have been eating close to 50% raw foods for a week now and I feel wonderful and have lost a few pounds. Some of the guidelines I have chosen to follow are from the Harvey Diamond book "Fit for Life: Not Fat for Life". My local library only has this book and Carol Alt's book on eating almost entirely raw (too extreme for me). I am glad I have read the Diamond book. Many of his ideas make sense to me (some, meh, not so much....but that's okay) and I am choosing which ones to implement into my life. Depending on how my body responds will depend on what I continue doing and what I decide to change. Diamond's ideas around how to eat fruit and eating only fresh fruit from morning until noon are working out well for me. He also allows for coffee (my vice). My energy throughout the day is steady and my mind feels more focused. He also talks about lunch and dinner having either a protein or a starch (but not both in the same meal), along with a cooked veggie and a salad (any raw vegetable, not necessarily a salad salad). His explanations of food combining also make sense to me.

I am not here pushing his book or eating raw (unless it works for you). My intention in this post (besides telling some of my story) is to encourage you all to listen to your bodies. Our bodies have amazing healing abilities. Think about it. When we break a bone, it's not the doctor that heals it. She just puts the bone in place and stabilizes it. It's our bodies that actually mend the bone. Amazing! I decided to try implementing a raw foods diet on the basis of the benefits I am reading about in books, magazines, raw foodist blogs and journals. I am staying with it based on how my body is reacting to it. I want my body to heal anything that ails it. I want to be energetic and move freely. I want to optimize my health.

Even though, most of the time I am "up in my head", when I take the time to listen to my body, it usually has some valuable advice to give me. My body is giving me positive feedback to this way of eating and I am going to listen and provide what it wants in order to reach the best health I can. I encourage you to take the time to listen to your body. Sometimes it give us pain or discomfort. It is trying to tell you something needs to be fixed. You can choose to ignore it and hope it goes away on it's own, or you can be proactive and do something about it to expedite healing. Best of health and healing to you!

motivation in three easy steps, or "turning up the heat"

thermostat
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

I have no idea how to sustain motivation, nor I do not know how many steps it takes. What I do know is that it is not always easy and it is time for me to turn up the heat with a fire under my ass. Motivation has been something that ebbs and flows in my life, and as I have mentioned before, I am my own worst enemy. This is true in my motivation as well. So here I am, exploring what motivation is, what my motivations are and why I let myself backslide in reaching my goals.

The best (or I should say, the one I like best) definition I discovered reads as follows:

noun
1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; "we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives"
2. the condition of being motivated; "his motivation was at a high level"
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive*

Motivation is the stimuli, the the thing that stimulates us into doing things to obtain our goals. Ideally, we utilize both internal and external stimuli. One could surmise that the more motivation we have, the more apt we are to moving. For instance, if the goal is safety, a bug being poked by a little boy's finger will begin to run and scurry away. But a bug who is being poked, having a magnifying glass concentrate sunlight on it's tail and a shoe stomping down on the ground behind it will haul ass to get away. The internal is the innate desire to be safe, the external is that pain-in-neck little child taunting the heck out of it are Buggy's motivational factors. It could be said, too, that the internal motivations are more powerful (or perhaps more vital) than the external. If Buggy had really strong internal motivation, he would have turned the other way when he eyed Little Johnny come out of the house, keeping himself out of harms way entirely. We are more likely to reach and, more importantly, stay at a goal, if it is for our own reasons. If the goal is jogging daily and you do it to win a race and get a trophy, once that race is won, that main motivation is gone and the jogging daily has lost it's fire. If the mindset is tweaked, the results can be longer lasting. Internal motivation: the good feeling of the "runner's high", the increased energy level, long-term heart health, feeling good about ourselves when feeling fit....these continue even after the external motivation has passed.

Now comes the personal part of this. Being the "over doer" that I am (Not an overachiever, that would imply perfectionism. I just like doing lots of things most of the time.), I usually have a laundry list of goals I am working towards, big and small, short and long-term. Here's a taste: Getting another associates degree, getting into a PhD program, going through and organizing paperwork, buying a house with a yard, getting married, having a baby, paying down my debt, getting a second job, restoring a car, visiting at least 40 of the States, traveling to other countries, re-learning how to fold paper cranes, setting up a good system for coupon organization, learning to speak Spanish fluently, start painting again, teach American Sign Language, get down to my goal weight, teach college level classes, get my professional licensure.......I could go on, but I will spare you the eye strain.

I'll examine a goal that many people have and in the process openly discuss something that makes me uncomfortable: my weight loss goal. (Um, the goal doesn't make me uncomfortable, it's the disappointment in my lack of achieving this goal at this point that does...not to mention tight waistbands...ooooph..not comfy!)

External motivations:

Photos at my brother's wedding in October

Greg's friends' wedding in September

Kudos from loved ones

Not getting "criticized" by people who are important to me. Not really criticized, more like people pointing out the obvious, "Wow, did you put on some weight?" or "Should you really be eating that?" or "Aren't you on a diet?" Yeah, all questions that irritate and make me want to go into Defiant Adolescent Mode and act all "I'll show you" while stuffing my face with a HoHo (Well not a hoho with the chocolate allergy thing. It just sounded good.)

Getting those "Damn girl! You look good!" reactions from people.

Being able to buy a new wardrobe. Not that I like to shop, but it would be nice to buy some higher quality threads and have another reason to spend the money.

Supporting/getting support from others with the same goal.

Soliciting support from loved ones in the form of being accountable for my progress or lack there of and for words of encouragement.

Internal motivations:

Having more energy

Feeling better in my own skin/clothes

Increased self-confidence

Less strain on my back/joints

More ease in movement (Maybe even more bendy in yoga)

Less impact on my knees when jogging

General health improvement

Lower cholesterol (It's not high, but I want to bring it down lower than it is.)

Feeling proud of myself for accomplishing another goal

Feeling sexier

I am capable of reaching this goal since I have done it before

Feeling beautiful on the outside

Sleeping better

Having more strength and endurance to bike, hike, jog, join a competitive sports team again, etc.

Feed my competitive side

To sustain my motivation, I am going to use this list to remind myself why I want it. I will print it, add to it and carry it with me. I will post it on the refrigerator (after I complete the goal of "cleaning off the front of the refrigerator" of course) and on the bathroom wall so I see it every day. I will request that Greg exercise with me and help me stay focused. I will again set up a visual representation of my progress along the way and put this on the fridge as well. I will set up mini-goals to accomplish along the way (exercising X number of times a week, doing something physical daily, celebrating each five pound loss, entering the "healthy weight range", etc.)

I swallowed my pride (which has zero calories!) and stepped on the scale this morning. For my two months of ignoring my motivational stimuli, I packed on 9 (count 'em, nine) pounds from my former plateau point. This is more motivation for me! So, my current goal is to drop a measly 39 pounds. I can do this and I will. I am feeling motivated!

Next: Exploring the reasons for losing motivation.

*American Psychological Association (APA):
motivation. (n.d.). WordNet® 3.0. Retrieved August 06, 2007, from Dictionary.com website: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/motivation