taking risks in a chum suit

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It's important to find a happy place between total stagnation and blind "dive-head-first-into-shark-infested-waters-while-wearing-a-chum-suit" action. In my experience, there have been times where I played it safe and others where I taken risks. Having an aversion towards boredom and stagnation, I prefer leaning towards the latter of the two.

Lately, I find myself taking more risks, putting myself out there and taking chances, because that is the only way to possibly succeed. (Details forthcoming, but for the time being, these are personal risks not for public viewing. Be patient dear readers.)

For the most part, my risk taking is successful. Engaging in creative projects bring a sense of juiciness to life. Advancing my education (*cough* accruing student loans) has opened my mind and doors wider. Uprooting and moving around the country has allowed me to gain new perspectives and to experience new adventures that have enriched my life and helped me reconnect with my husband. All of these have required some level of risk and have provided such fruitful rewards and experiences.

I am grateful for every experience for even the ones that do not work out as planned have helped me grow and learn about myself. Who was it that said "the only failure is in not trying?" I am not holding back, there are dreams to be had and fruit to be picked.

Fear and excitement can be physiologically similar. Change your perspective and take a chance. Are you holding yourself back from a dream or desire because of fear?

Now where's my chum suit?

dreams vs. pragmatic points

Do "practical thinkers" tend to tamp down dreams? Here's a worthy and inspirational blog covering the 10 Lies You Will Hear Before You Pursue Your Dreams. Maybe the pragmatic points come from others or it may come from our own thoughts.

How many goals in your life have you not attempted because of this? If you have goals (and I hope you all have many) read that blog post. Then go ahead and take control of putting the cross-hairs on your target and go for it!

being okay with the power of intention

I believe that we need to put intentions out to the world in order for us to reach our goals and get what we want. We need to have our eyes set on achieving what we want in order to know the path we need to take in order to get there. Whether it is for personal growth or something as tangible as buying a house, the focus needs to exist, be clear and be focused. A powerful adjunct to basic and concrete goal setting is putting our intentions out there. If there is a goal we want but there is no intention behind it,we will never achieve it unless, or course, you have amazing luck.

I find personal growth goals easy to put intention behind. This intention feels extremely accessible . However, I have difficulty putting my desires out to the Universe for the tangible things I desire. Is it a selfish act? Is being occasionally selfish permissible? Will there be a negative backlash if obtaining the desired thing? Is desire for the tangible a bad thing? Am I deserving? Should I be focusing my energy into more "important" things?

In reviewing these questions, I find myself responding in my head:

Is it a selfish act?
Often, but what difference does it make as long as you are not causing harm to others in the process.

Is being occasionally selfish permissible?
Of course it is. We are human and deserve to put ourselves first at times. I encourage clients to give themselves permission to be selfish since many of them are always putting others first, especially those that are mothers. Those that put others first all the time, neglect themselves so much that they get to the point of not being able to provide for others because they are so depleted.

Will there be a negative backlash if obtaining the desired thing?
Backlash? From what? The world does not work in a "tit for tat" kind of way. If we receive something that we wanted, the good that we receive from it can very easily be "paid forward," right? Of course, we might create a backlash if we gloat about things and rub it in other peoples' faces, but that is another issue.

Is desire for the tangible a bad thing?
Who is the judge of good or bad? If you get so attached to the desire for the tangible, this can lead to negative responses...remember the whole "love of money..." thing? However, our chosen reality is that a certain level of tangible items make our lives more comfortable. Some tangible items, such as shelter, are necessary for survival, some strictly for greater enjoyment of life but to judge the latter of the two as "bad" is a judgment.

Am I deserving?
I am human and I live my life with as much kindness as possible, and do not wish to cause harm to others. So I would say, yes, I am deserving of putting my intentions out to the Universe for the things that I would like.

Should I be focusing my energy into more "important" things?
I can focus concurrently. As long as I do not lose focus on the important, then it is all good. The things that I want may also put me into a better position to do more for others. That is important.


You know, going through this thought process, I am feeling better about setting my intentions towards tangible goals. Thanks for reading. Now, about that house I want to buy......

doors

Sometimes it is not about waiting for the proverbial "door of opportunity" to open for you, but rather about finding the key in your heart that opens the door that you want.

i love being the newbie

"Gotta take the first step"

I love trying new things. There is something about the energy that gets sparked in my soul and keeps life from getting stagnant that makes me want to seek out the next thing in which I can be a newbie. I like to keep a list of things to try. In general, this list is quite long. The time has come once again to create and examine my options.

Some previous goals can be revisited:
Taking a new art class
Training for a 10K (this time not concurrent with writing a thesis)
Taking violin lessons
Relearning Yang style short form tai chi
Getting back out on both the skateboard and inline skates to learn new tricks

Some new things to try:
Learning wood working/furniture building
Learning a new form of martial arts
Writing an academic journal article
Trying rock climbing
Learning how to fly on a trapeze (there's a local school. for real)
Learning some BMX tricks

Some goals are minor:
Learning recipes that use coconut oil (yum!)
Adding weekly weight training to my fitness regime
Getting to bed an hour earlier on most nights

Some goals are lofty:
Get my PhD
Restore a car myself

This list is not all inclusive and I am always open to suggestions. Please leave a comment with some ideas, no matter how minor, offbeat, practical or outlandish. What new things have you tried?

mlk day doings

Today, my office is closed and Groovy's at work, so I am taking the opportunity to be productive. This has already included editing and posting the last eight days of 365 photos on flickr. I have not had much desire to be online lately, hence the backlog of self photos. I am now formulating my "Operation Apartment Clean" (or OAC) project for today. (Hey, the news always adds flashy names to each story. Why can't I???)

OAC must be done. OAC will end victoriously. OAC will get accomplished much sooner if I get off the dang computer.

OAC Twin Powers, Activate!

Shape of A VACUUM!

Form of A SPONGE!

exploration

exploration
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

Some days I feel I know exactly who I am, some days I'm not quite sure. But I find that, as I get older, the question of "who do I want to become tomorrow?" is a more poignant question.

Behind this is a laundry list of goals. I used to keep a running list in my dally planner and record the dates I achieved each one. This system feels antiquated to me now and does not spark me to move forward. Today I need something more visual. Inspired by "inspiration boards" that some artists and creative individuals use (sometimes a cork board that they affix photos, items, words, etc. to that inspire them to create), I'm starting an "inspiration wall".

Since, I am in the process of creating a studio space in the apartment (formerly the second half of the table nook in the kitchen; first half is already commandeered by Sherman), I have decided to start out with sticky notes of the things I want to do and/or become. I adore the idea of being able to move, rearrange and hold them in my hands. Perhaps a small photo or picture to go along with each will add to the inspiration. I'll see how it evolves.

Having my goals and inspirations right there in front of me perhaps will help me pinpoint which to tackle next (or concurrently. Again, I will see what happens.)

So today, I do indeed know who I am: a self-inspiring motivating organizer. (Hmm, I hope that will fit on my business card...)

gooooooooooaaaaaallllllll!

Something that keeps me motivated is working towards tangible goals. The past few days my focus has been directed at sorting out my next goal (or concurrent goals). Though I strive on the sense of moving forward, sometimes my laundry list of goals itself is what keeps me stagnant. (Aaaa!!! Too many choices! Where to begin? Where to begin???)

My immediate goal for the next couple of days is to sit down and transfer this mental list of goals (ooo, "mentalist"....sorry, humor in my own mind) into a tangible format. Perhaps in an artistic way. There is great potential and great possibility, now to organize my focus. I will share more as this project progresses.

getting nailed

getting nailed
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

Sometimes we fail to give ourselves credit for the little improvements. They often are overshadowed by My Critic Panel. (Yeah, most people have one voice in their minds that criticizes them, I have a whole panel. They're annoying and I want to dope smack each and every one of them.) But here I am, praising myself for a small thing that is huge for me. I know I have mentioned it before but..... I have stopped biting my nails and it has been many weeks now. (Wow! I do have staying power with some things.) For all you long-nailed, non-gnawers, you have to understand, I have always bitten my nails. Mostly, I would bite out of feelings of stress or, more often, being bored.

Somehow, something shifted in my and my approached the attempt to consciously stop biting was different this time. It did not give up if I had a little nibble. I did not beat myself up or get upset with my lack of discipline, I treated myself with some lovingkindness and it worked.

Now I have a new dilemma to deal with: how to not hurt myself with nails. I have bent a couple back (holy freakin' ouch) accidentally and I have had to relearn how to insert and remove my contacts. I have to learn to not scratch myself or those around me (sorry Groovy). I am improving by practice. I also "punish" the offending nail by filing it down if it gets bent back (That'll learn 'em).

I figure after a while I will be trained in the art of having nails. Until then, you might want to avoid my personal space.....for your own safety. Or at least make sure your shots are up to date.

slow and steady....

......wins the race!

I am a third of the way to my weight loss goal. I feel great, my pants are falling off me and I have more of that old Melissa spunk coming back to my self image. There is still a ways to go, but I will get there; I am confident of that. Maybe I should buy a belt so I stop inadvertently mooning the neighbors......

self examination

self study II
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

As I get healthier, stronger and lose weight, I am amazed how my body is changing. More specifically, I am amazed that I have been exercising without using excuses to skip workouts. I feel better, physically and mentally.

Now it is time to make myself uncomfortable by slowly examining myself, every perfect flaw and all. Of course, it is safe to start with the parts I like and then ease into the other parts, but this is one way I am working towards making myself whole and continuing to improve myself.

inviting miracles to find goals

Of the blogs I enjoy reading, an entry on Operation Simplify has inspired this morning's post. The writer of O.S. is this beautiful woman with an amazing family that she shares with us blog readers. As seemingly amazing a woman and mother she appears to be, in a few of her posts she really beats herself up beyond recognition. After commenting on her most recent self-attacking entry, I decided to write and share this tool with you guys as well. It is something I use with clients and myself on occasion.

It's a simple question with a potentially complex answer. I pose this question to you: If a miracle were to happen overnight and you wake up tomorrow with your life (and you) being exactly how you want it, perfect to you, what would that look like?

Take some time to really think about this. Be honest with yourself. There are no right or wrong answers, even if some parts of it are impossible. (Even the "impossible" parts can give you good insight.) Write it down, in detail. Draw it. Record it in whatever way feels right. Take some time to examine what you came up with, what you wrote or drew. Put it away for a day or so, then come back to it and read it again; as many times as you need to.

What are the parts you truly want to attain or become in your life? Break it down and decide what you can do (one piece at a time) to get your life/yourself from "today" to your "perfect" life/self. And try to be kind to yourself in this process (and in life of course). Like I mentioned, there is no dream, idea or goal that is wrong. Even if it's to be a superhero, that is insight. Break it down even more: What does being a superhero mean? Parts of superhero-ness are doable. You can be someone else's hero.

You can use this tool to figure out goals and discover things about yourself. You do not have to share this dream with anyone else if you choose not to. This is for you. If this post inspires just one person, I will be happy with that. If you try it and find it helpful, please let me know. If it is the worst idea ever, share that too. Good luck!

Summit

It is good to take a look around when you get to the summit to appreciate the reward of your effort, but it is just as important to look back and remember the path you took to get there. Yes, I mean this both literally and figuratively. Here I am enjoying the summit of a peak in the Berkshires and it was stunning. With views of Mt Greylock to the north and the Catskills to the southwest, it was quite a lovely reward. However, the bigger reward is in the hindsight. We took the most challenging trail up and there were segments where nine months ago I would not have been able to conquor physically, but we both did it....sweating, panting and in need of a bottle of water (why'd we leave those in the car?), but we did it.

Often, I don't give myself enough credit for what I can do. I overshadow my successes with thoughts of the goals I have not yet accomplished. It's good for me to keep looking forward and keep myself motivated, but sometimes, like today, you may even catch me being proud of myself.

I think I will head out now for a jog.....and I'll be satisfied with however long I actually go...no judgement or thoughts of how much more I want to run next time out....and I will enjoy both the journey and the summit :)