when you come from good people

I read this list and kept mental track what I do and what else I can start doing to make the world a slightly nicer place. More than halfway through and I realized that I really need to thank my parents for raising me right. They taught me so many things on this list by lesson and example.

A big THANK YOU mom and dad!

"i am not eating that unhealthy tidbit...."

"...but I'll feed it to my family."


Oh this annoys me to no end. So often I hear adults on personal weight loss journeys talk about the junk foods that that are rebuking in their quest for better health. This is wonderful, but unfortunately this is often followed by, "My kids will eat it." It upsets me that people would be so concerned with their own weight and health, but find it perfectly acceptable for their children to eat unhealthy stuff in their own houses. Do not get me wrong, I understand that kids will often buy and consume unhealthy items when at school or when hanging out with their friends, but their deep seated habits are formed at home.

Though I have had my struggles with food and healthy choices. I am grateful that my family of origin made healthier foods and behaviors a staple in our house. I was always the kid with whole wheat bread for my jelly and banana sandwiches and skim milk was introduced early on. Going to fast food restaurants was a rare event. To this day, I could not imagine buying white bread (even "enriched" - what a joke) and gag at the thought of whole milk. Today, the only thing that I choose to put cow's milk in is coffee. My whole grain cereal gets nice cold rice milk.

My parents have been into fitness for as long as I remember. Jogging, yoga, weight training and sports were a given in my household. My brother and I were encouraged to go play outside and run around on any (and every) nice day...and we did and we loved it! We now have so many fun and fond memories thanks to this.

Our parents' positive influence is helping us well into our adult years. My brother, who is a few years older than me, still plays ice hockey and softball (on multiple leagues, no less) and I have reignited my inner yogini and fitness nut. I shop for whole foods and find joy in healthy eating now. All of these healthy habits were established and reinforced in the family. Heck, my father still weight lifts and plays golf, mom hits her weekly yoga class and walks most days.

I thank the Universe every day for the family I have. Hey, Universe! Thank you for giving me parents that were not "health hypocrites."

image from health in motion

on being nice

It has always been a common thing for people to mention how amazingly nice my grandmother is, and it is true. She never had a bad thing to say about anyone, would show kindness towards everyone and find good in all people (even the drunk who caused a car accident we were involved in years ago). Now I am seeing this with my mother. Don't get me wrong, I have always known my mother is kind, loving and caring (though she doesn't find the good in everyone....and I think you know who I am talking about, mom. hee hee) but now I am hearing people point out how nice she is when I meet them. Last night, mom couldn't make it to yoga class because she had the unfortunate situation of watching the Islanders lose to the Rangers (GRRRRR!). When I arrived at class many of the woman, after realizing I am my mom's daughter, let me know how incredibly nice she is.

I would say that is not a bad reputation to have. Being nice and kind. And I am proud to say that she is my mom, my mother....my mommola pastramola! I just hope that I, too, show kindness to others often. Not for the recognition, but to make those around me feel good and share the joy that I feel.

Be nice.

it's my birthday....

and I'll "om" if I want to.

Spent my birthday working during the day, then went to yoga class in the evening. One would think that would be uneventful and mundane, but nothing in my life tends to happen without something interesting weaved into it. While waiting at the light of a two lane turn lane, I notice my mother is right behind us in her little Honda on her way to class (wave enthusiastically in the rear view). There was a car to my right, luxury sedan. Light turns green, we all commence moving, lanes merge...no problem: me/Greg, luxury sedan, then mom. I turn in to the parking lot, followed by sedan, followed by mom. Well, luxury sedan decides to back out of the lot in order to park on the street. Unfortunately, she did not see mom in her Honda....CRUNCH, CRACK, OY! At first she thought she hit a curb, but then she realized that curb was mom. (She little....but not THAT little.)

They both park and look at the damage. Mom's front end is quite crunked up, luxury sedan scratched up. Sigh. Now, mom being mom and awesome like that, she suggests they both take the yoga class and deal with it after. (I went something like, "You might think I'm crazy, but let's take yoga first,then we'll deal with this." My mom rocks!)

Class was great. Aaahhhhh.

After, I suggested that they make a police report because luxury sedan could very easily change her story and say mom rear ended her. So cops are called...and we wait....and wait.....AND wait. In the meantime, we had a pleasant time talking, laughing and sharing stories with luxury sedan and her husband (who came down for moral support). Probably the most fun had after a fender bender....ever.

So there you have it, my birthday....in a parking lot, after a fender bender, in the rain, laughing. Well, I must admit, my birthday is never dull. It would be nice to see luxury sedan again, perhaps at another class, or the Cinema Arts Center...I just hope we don't arrive to the parking lot at the same time. ;)

happy birthday, mommola pastramola

She's just like a mom....only smaller!

(Seriously, don't know how I came from her. Good thing I wasn't a big baby!)

And it's her birthday!!!!

Woot Woot! When I was young, every year she told me that she was turning 23.

After, oh say, the fourth year, I caught on.

And I cried and cried.

Not because she wasn't 23,

but because she lied to me!

(I can't believe my mother lied to me!!!! waaaaaa!

I think I may have aged her a lot that year.)

Then I accepted it and happily became older than her

on my 24th birthday.

HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY, MOM!

You don't look a day over 22!

ring it in

Here we are, folks, in a new year. 2008. Write your checks correctly. I rang in the new year similar to last...with a wicked cold making my nose all snuffily and my body achy. Sat on the couch wrapped in a warm new christmas gift blanket (thanks Paul and Joanne!!!), sweatshirt and scarf lovingly knitted by Greg :). As my Italian grandmother always did, we had money in our hands at the stroke of midnight to welcome prosperity into our lives. This year I additionally held some Emergen-C, a piece of paper with a heart and a polished stone. Wealth, Health, Love and being grounded.

Since I make a habit of setting goals for myself throughout the year, I do not come up with New Year's Resolutions. I prefer instead let go of things from the previous year. I learned this tradition from a peer of mine that studied at Naropa University. Her name is Sonny and she is a Lakota Indian, an amazing woman, a survivor and a beautiful person all around. Since ritual and tradition can be an important component of well being, she shared with the class a tradition that her tribe practices. Keep in mind, I am not versed in Lakota tradition so this is a very abridged version. Basically what we did was write down things from the previous year that we want to let go. This is personal and not shared with anyone. We then burned the paper and the idea is that the things we want to let go of goes up with the smoke and a Lakota spirit (an eagle, I believe) flies down and takes them away. You then bury the ashes in soil and grow a plant or flower in it. Then you can move into the new year letting go of the things that hold you back and something new grows from the intention. Having done this a couple of times, I find it very freeing and a ritual I plan on doing again this week. I have used this also when I was going through some difficult times. My mother had come to Colorado to stay with me for a few days for support. I shared this idea with her and we did the ritual ourselves. We then added writing down what we wish for each other in the coming year. Truly helpful indeed.

Whatever you want to work towards in 2008 or let go of from the past, I wish you all Health, Wealth, Love and a Sense of Groundedness.

Namaste, Shanti and Cheers,

Melissa

thoughts without a thinker

I've been thinking a lot about things lately; more so then usual. I've been thinking a lot about my grandmother...how she lived so long on her own, independent, self sufficient and full of life....how she moved into assistant living and had to be put in the Alzheimer's unit, not because she has Alzheimer's but because she kept leaving the building unassisted in an attempt to walk the un-walkable distance to my parents' house. I've been thinking about what goes on in her mind now that she does not reportedly recognize any of us any more. I think about how, between her moments of fear, she still has moments where her smile beams and her face lights up. I wonder if she has memories from this life or if she is very much in the here and now, and is perhaps feeling Zen-like without even trying. I wonder if my grandfather is watching over her, waiting for her to embrace her again. I wonder if she has moments where she sees angels preparing her to be ready to move on and be free from the physical that is slowly failing her. I wonder, when I helped her sit in my mother's car to take her home and I told her I love her and kissed her soft cheek, if she sensed how much I truly love her.

I've been thinking about how difficult this is for my mother; the strong woman who takes everything on with little support, less help and even less complaining. I wonder what I can do to take some of the pain away from her. I wonder where she gets her strength from. I wonder if she knows how much I admire her and am grateful that she is my mother. I think about how much my grandfather is probably surrounding her with love and support since he is definitely her guardian angel.

I wonder if I can get my shit together or at least temporarily pack it aside in order to be more present in what is going on with both of them. I think about doing all that I can to not have any regrets like the one I have from when my "2nd mother" passed away. It is not so much a regret, as it was a lost opportunity.

I have been thinking about love and family. I have been thinking about life and the future. I have been remembering joyful memories. I have been thinking about marriage and children. I have been pondering the differences and similarities between giving up and letting go. And I have come to the conclusion that I am enough, no matter what I am and where I am at.

people i love

...in no particular order and absolutely not all inclusive. Unfortunately, a lot of my photos are on Greg's computer that has decided to take a long vacation from working.

Me and Grandma being silly

Me and Grandma
Me and Grandpa (aka Dr. Schnookleheimer)
My high school buddy now living on the left coast John (who better start blessing us with a new blog soon)

My friend Terry from SCCC and beyond (he emailed me his boo boo work injury)
Jen and Me (This photo is from one of the many New Year's Eve Extravaganzas)
Me, Bernadette and Jen at Bern's bridal shower

Jen's Aidan
Dahlia and Deborah (coworker and her daughter)
Craig (he's worse than me at returning phone calls, but he still rocks)
Of course, my lovely Greg
Me and my Dad

My goddaughter Lily
My niece Annalise
Me, my mom, brother Paul, and dad at my Naropa Graduation
Rich, me, Greg, mom, Paul and Joanne at my department graduation
Ah, not only does this make me realize that many of my pictures are un-gettable at the moment, but that there are many more I need to take and memories I need to make. So many people have touched my life and continue to play important roles in it. I think I will make it my mission to get more (and current) pictures of all my loved ones, past and present. Perhaps a photo album, a tangible one that I can thumb through and remind myself of what is important when I lose my way. This also gives me a reason to actively plan get-togethers. Yay!

going to the chapel

wedding bells
Originally uploaded by misslissa13

I do not know why I find this so freaky, but I cannot believe that my brother is going to be getting married in a little over twelve hours. I guess part of this is colored by the fact that I have a lot of personal weirdness in my own life surrounding marriage (a topic for a later blog?), but this is more about the fact that I never thought my brother would ever get married.

Now, don't get me wrong. He is not some awkward social misfit or anything, and he has been in his current relationship for a decade. It is just that I thought he would never take a plunge in the romantic waters of the marital bliss. I guess people you have known your whole life can still surprise you if you just give them the chance. On a side note, I have a feeling I am going to drop my tough-gal-righteous-babe-ness and shed some tears in a mushy-sentimental-sort of way. Shhhhh! Don't tell anyone!

vicarious living and polish reminiscing

I added a new blog to my "daily reading" list to the right. "The Traveling Schell Show" is penned by an old friend from high school who is currently traveling in Europe and writing about his experience. He emailed yesterday to send me the link.

I love the fact that he sent the message from Poland, since my Polish grandmother talked of the home land and her time there. I can still recite a Polish folk tale about a chicken, tell you "Today I am sad", "thank you", "grandmother" and "eat" in Polish. The "eat" is from my great grandmother who told me "Jeść, jeść! Or the little bear is going to come and eat your food!" Thanks for the eating disorder and paranoia of bears, Babcia! ha ha ha...I jest. Oh, and for the record, "shitski" is not really Polish...it was just a way for great grandmother to curse in front of us and try to make us think it was just a Polish word. Man, come to think of it, great grandma had some colorful language! I think that is more foreign language retention then my four years of Spanish in school!

Anyway, take a gander at his writing and have a vicarious trip through Europe. Suddenly, I'm craving babka, pierogis and chrusciki.