Saturday, March 21, 2015

the energy of money

A lump formed of resentment and regret lodges in my throat when I think about money. Even the process of writing about it causes distress. Heck, three sentences in and I'm ready to save as draft.

Log off

I wasn't kidding. It is now the day after I started penning this. Why is it a struggle to write about money? Because it brings up current struggles and the past few years worth of trials and tribulations on the financial front. Frustration stems from having and continuing to work hard at my education with little financial gains to show for it. I half joke that I went back to school and will likely be just as poor with four degrees as I am with three. I'm willing to take that risk. (I'm also taking advantage of in school deferment on my loans.) The resentment arises when I witness societal inequities in opportunities and entitlements for those of us "living in the middle" (too poor to get by, too rich to get help). I am trying to learn how to let go of these and other frustrations and resentments because they certainly do not serve me.

My belief is that our hearts and souls must be open to allow things into our lives. My frustrations and resentments are blocking the energy of money. Today I am choosing to make a conscious effort in dropping these blockers and let the good come in. I'm opening up for opportunities to come my way. I'm using my eyes to find new ideas and means of supporting my family. I am letting go of worry that bills will not get paid (because they will). I am giving for others to benefit from receiving.

Today I am saying "YES!!!" to letting in the good.