Monday, August 31, 2009

blogs i loosely follow

I did a quick and incomplete update to the "blogs i follow" list in the side bar. I know there are one or two that I need to delete due to bloggers shutting down their blogs, but I do not want to do this without confirming that these are permanent closures. Happy reading, folks!

me in my office

me in my office
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
So here I am at work. No clients at the time, but lots and lots of paperwork. I figure I have about seven months to finish up my 3,000 supervised hours and then I will have my full license. This seems so far away yet so close. Seven months seems to be a good time frame for planning a private practice. Not only will a private practice provide additional income, but it will also give me the opportunity to practice in the mental health field in a capacity that would feed my soul while helping others.

Working in an outpatient clinic, like I do now, is a non-stop onslaught of busyness. There is a never ending source of new clients that need services. Unfortunately, many clinics and programs have closed due to cutbacks making the remaining ones are inundated on a daily basis. The population appears to be getting sicker and sicker as well. I do not fully understand how the whole mental health system works, but I wonder if it is designed as efficiently as possible. My guess would be no, it is not. Perhaps it worked years ago, but the design may not have evolved along with the needs of clients. Sometimes I wish I studied sociology to get a broader view of the needs of today's society in order to serve the population better as a whole. We as therapists may not be able to change the system in it's entirety, but we can choose to respond to it differently. Perhaps approaching the chaos with our own calm with play at least a small role in stabilizing the system.

In starting a private practice in the model that I am planning, it will be a good balance to the busyness of clinic work. I cannot wait until "my office" will truly mean MY office. Until that time, I will continue using prana in facing down the clinic chaos.

Happy mental health to you!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

natural flavor with other natural flavors

Because nothing goes better with natural flavor than OTHER natural flavors. Go Nabisco and your kooky package designers!

rabbits rabbits everywhere!

painters rabbit IV
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
The other night at yoga class, I had my mat set up near an exit door that has glass panes top to bottom. While in a seated twist position I peered out to the lawn outside and there was a little rabbit munching away at the grass. He then sat himself down and watched the rest of yoga class.

Such things bring me joy.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

i don't wanna, i don't think so

Sometimes songs pop into my head that I have not heard in years. This is what is in it now, Sonic Youth's Kool Thing. Brings back memories from the past. Good ones with good people. A past era in my life. It is nice to reminisce, but I am glad to be in the present.

When you're a star, I know you'll fix everything.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

now to see which neighbor smokes parliment

This is our front garden, with the lovely flowers. I suppose the neighbors thought is was an ashtray, too. How annoying. It's bad enough we get some downwind smoke when we're sitting outside enjoying our garden, but too find butts in the garden...bleh!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

joy, joy, dancing joy!

being okay with the power of intention

I believe that we need to put intentions out to the world in order for us to reach our goals and get what we want. We need to have our eyes set on achieving what we want in order to know the path we need to take in order to get there. Whether it is for personal growth or something as tangible as buying a house, the focus needs to exist, be clear and be focused. A powerful adjunct to basic and concrete goal setting is putting our intentions out there. If there is a goal we want but there is no intention behind it,we will never achieve it unless, or course, you have amazing luck.

I find personal growth goals easy to put intention behind. This intention feels extremely accessible . However, I have difficulty putting my desires out to the Universe for the tangible things I desire. Is it a selfish act? Is being occasionally selfish permissible? Will there be a negative backlash if obtaining the desired thing? Is desire for the tangible a bad thing? Am I deserving? Should I be focusing my energy into more "important" things?

In reviewing these questions, I find myself responding in my head:

Is it a selfish act?
Often, but what difference does it make as long as you are not causing harm to others in the process.

Is being occasionally selfish permissible?
Of course it is. We are human and deserve to put ourselves first at times. I encourage clients to give themselves permission to be selfish since many of them are always putting others first, especially those that are mothers. Those that put others first all the time, neglect themselves so much that they get to the point of not being able to provide for others because they are so depleted.

Will there be a negative backlash if obtaining the desired thing?
Backlash? From what? The world does not work in a "tit for tat" kind of way. If we receive something that we wanted, the good that we receive from it can very easily be "paid forward," right? Of course, we might create a backlash if we gloat about things and rub it in other peoples' faces, but that is another issue.

Is desire for the tangible a bad thing?
Who is the judge of good or bad? If you get so attached to the desire for the tangible, this can lead to negative responses...remember the whole "love of money..." thing? However, our chosen reality is that a certain level of tangible items make our lives more comfortable. Some tangible items, such as shelter, are necessary for survival, some strictly for greater enjoyment of life but to judge the latter of the two as "bad" is a judgment.

Am I deserving?
I am human and I live my life with as much kindness as possible, and do not wish to cause harm to others. So I would say, yes, I am deserving of putting my intentions out to the Universe for the things that I would like.

Should I be focusing my energy into more "important" things?
I can focus concurrently. As long as I do not lose focus on the important, then it is all good. The things that I want may also put me into a better position to do more for others. That is important.

You know, going through this thought process, I am feeling better about setting my intentions towards tangible goals. Thanks for reading. Now, about that house I want to buy......

Sunday, August 16, 2009

beyond fertile years

beyond fertile years
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
...but not beyond voicing her opinion of what you should do with your uterus.

do you ever...

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like there is a raging fire inside of you that is just waiting to burst out from the center of your soul to fill the World with creative expressions of joy?

Yeah, me too.

Monday, August 10, 2009

the karaoke cure

Lately, there have been many thoughts running through my mind but none of them wanted to come out in a blog post. However, one thing that is begging attention today is reconnecting with my uninhibited, outgoing self. (Oh, I have missed you so!)

Throughout much of my life, I walked with the confidence as a sure kid/teen/woman, easily talking to people I did not know, engaging in activities that garnered attention and freely expressing myself artistically and intellectually without pause. This has always brought joy and excitement to my soul. I approached tasks and endeavors with vim and passion. Challenging tasks were like crack to me.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the line I ventured away from this vital part of me. Fortunately, I reignited the pilot light this past weekend. How? Oddly enough: karaoke. Before singing, my inner dialogue went something like this:

"Okay, Melissa, look at the song list and maybe feigning interest will make you blend in and go unnoticed that you don't actually get up and sing."

"Unnoticed??!! You'll look so interested that someone is going to make you get up! What are you so afraid of? You used to do theatre, remember?"

"Of course I remember! The memories intact, it's just the stage freight that we never had back then has accumulated and is rearing it's ugly head now."

"Wimp! Even if you totally suck, it's more about having fun. You do remember fun, right?"

"Alright, screw it. I'm going in. **insert semi-palatable belted out karaoke song here** Hey, that wasn't so bad! It was (dare I say?) exhilarating!"

"See? You really have to stop being such a wallflower, because face it, deep down you are a loud, boisterous, life-filled beam of light! Let it shine, sister, let it shine!"

--end of internal dialogue--

This three minutes of unbridled karaoke crooning got me to thinking about how to truly delve back into the authenticity of myself.

Today I vow to simply be me.
Today I conquer self-created fear.
Today I nourish the self emotionally, artistically and with utter self-kindness.
I sing!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I passed my professional license exam today.
Finally I can exhale.
One more step to complete
before I get my full license.
Just need to finish my 3000 hours
of supervised work
in NY since none of my hours
from Colorado and Rhode Island count.

c'est la vie


I am always fascinated by movement of the human body. This is an enthralling performance. Please take the time to watch it start to finish. I doubt you will be disappointed.

Pilobolus perform "Symbiosis"


Monday, August 3, 2009


...but only because I am entertained by the Universe. Just hysterical! I won't go into it right now (because it will only add to my procrastination). Instead, I am going to head over to the public library of my childhood...which looks nothing like it did back then, it's simply an amazing library with a coffee shop and gallery space in it..and I am going to do some practice tests for my professional license test that I am taking this Wednesday. (Wednesday at 1:30 EST, send some supportive, you'll-pass-the-test-on-your-first-try positive energy my way, please.) I need to go to the library because there will hopefully be less distractions for me...hopefully. Except maybe the coffee shop, art display, and all those books! Arg! Must focus!

Later, my lovelies!