Wednesday, September 30, 2009

today i am

I am blessed and stressed and surviving and thriving!
Life: the ultimate dichotomy.

Oh wait, there is only oneness. Okay, never mind.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

shamless self promotion

Hello loyal readers and newbies alike. I am trying to find the spark to post more here and on my second blog.

What is this other blog, you ask? It is titled Finding Maitri. Maitri, or metta, means lovingkindness. It is a forum where I am documenting my journey of find lovingkindness towards myself; my struggles and self discovery. Though I am mostly open and honest in this blog, I am allowing Finding Maitri to evolve into a documentation of my personal journey where I am allowing myself be more vulnerable and open about my struggles and growth, my pains and discoveries, and my fears and joys.

Finding Maitri is by invite only, however, I am opening it up to anyone whom I know personally, those that I trust and/or have already developed online friendships with, and those of you that I can verify who you are (If I do not know you, as long you can give me some evidence that you are and I am comfortable with it, I'll grant you access.

Let me know if you want me to send you an invite (most of you know multiple ways of getting in touch with me). I just need your email address to send you an invite. Thanks to those of you who have already read Finding Maitri.

spare some change?

In four months, my one savings account has made a whopping 86 cents in interest! Two dollars sixty-six cents the past twelve months. Whew! At this rate, I can retire in forty-seven lifetimes. Then I will finally be able to "stick it to the man!"

one of the reasons that i love my friends

Jeffery Hyde Thompson

This is a bit of his silliness, but he is quite a talented musician and a really great human, to boot. After enjoying this, check out his serious work. It is well worth it: Jeffery Hyde Thompson

Friday, September 25, 2009

8 out of 9

  • Rest, Rest, Rest CHECK
  • Eating lots of garlic and turmeric (anti viral/bacterial, anti inflammatory) and getting in some protein despite the lack of appetite CHECK
  • Echinacea and extra vitamin C on top of my regular vitamins CHECK
  • Drinking lots of water and decaf teas CHECK
  • Watering the wilty flowers and sitting outside in the fresh air for a spell (hope the neighbors do not mind my unkempt appearance) CHECK
  • Taking some time to do some reading
  • Watch some really bad television CHECK
  • Do something creative CHECK
  • Engage in some gentle yoga CHECK
Eight out of nine ain't bad! It seems to have done the trick.
Off to work I go!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

sick day? more like sucky day

So here I am, home from work. I think I was fighting a bug since last week, but did not start feeling off until this week. I have had a few random intermittent hours of sniffles (not too bad), swollen glands, tiredness and a temperature. Tuesday, I noticed a lot of mind-fog/spaciness (insert "so that's different than normal how?" joke here) happening and Wednesday this worsened. Normally, I will just push myself through feeling blah, but I got home last night and realized that if I do not rest up, this is going to get worse. There was a moment of hesitation in my mind thinking of my clients whom I had scheduled appointments with but I realize that none are in imminent crisis and sharing my germs with them and my coworkers would not be an act of kindness (my office is of meager size and there is NO air circulation).

Now here is the annoyance of staying home: being pent up in a basement apartment is not exactly a healing environment. Grrrr! I will do my best despite this.

Dr. Schnookleheimer's Feel Better Plan:

  • Rest, Rest, Rest
  • Eating lots of garlic and turmeric (anti viral/bacterial, anti inflammatory) and getting in some protein despite the lack of appetite
  • Echinacea and extra vitamin C on top of my regular vitamins
  • Drinking lots of water and decaf teas
  • Watering the wilty flowers and sitting outside in the fresh air for a spell (hope the neighbors do not mind my unkempt appearance)
  • Taking some time to do some reading
  • Watch some really bad television
  • Do something creative
  • Engage in some gentle yoga
Hopefully all of this will do the trick. If not, does vegetarian "chicken" soup work too?

Sunday, September 20, 2009

now i know my abc's

do you know the feeling?

Do you know the feeling when there is change in the air and you have a longing for something new, exciting and different, but you just can't put your finger on what that new thing is?

I am so at that point right now.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

ladybug picnic

ladybug picnic
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
Holy-moly, This ladybug was gigundo!
And fast as can be!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

*gulp* no! not rabbits!!!!

Originally uploaded by misslissa13
I stumbled on this quite by accident while making a round about u-turn. Right in the heart of suburban Long Island, just off the expressway, is a source for fresh killed meat. Though I am vegetarian, I would rather see people get their meat from a local source where the animals get to actually live until they are ready for consumption. I would think that there would be less of a chance of the meat going to waste compared to mass produced slaughterhouse product that is frozen for lengths of time, but this is just a guess. I also think that someone buying local like this would be more apt to buy only what they need and, since it is fresh, consume it soon after purchase. Again, another guess.

I know, some people will be up in arms about this post and call me a hypocrite. Go for it. I do believe in kindness towards all creatures, but I also respect people for their own food choices (and I have been known to swat a mosquito on occasion...okay, many occasions). We are mammals and many mammals eat other creatures for sustenance. Again, those upset would argue that we do not HAVE to eat this way. True, but people can choose to and that is fine by me. My hope is that everyone takes a moment to appreciate all the food they eat and what sacrifice people and/or animals have made to bring it to their plates. Live consciously.

Just my three cents (inflation).

Bring it on Peta, bring it on!

Monday, September 14, 2009

life indeed is good

Kids running around terrorizing the bunny
with laughter and spunk
The bunny responding in sprinting glee
Spit up running down my arm
My best guy and best friend chilling

I take a breathe
and am reminded
that life, indeed, is good.


It feels like I am in a constant retooling of my perspective and expectations, and this is a good thing. Life, the world and the Universe is in constant motion. If we stubbornly keep the same mindset, it may not apply to the new form of things. I have retooled things big and small.

I have retooled my career goals a few times. As a child, I wanted to become a doctor. I was inspired by the kindness of my own pediatrician who always had a little koala holding onto her stethoscope; an animal I adored as a child (The koala may or may not have swayed my earliest career goals). Come junior high and high school, my desire shifted towards art. I had planned on attending community college to complete basic courses at a better dollar value. (I was blessed to have parents that funded my entire undergrad education and I did not want to overtax their wallet...Sorry, mom and dad, about choosing a private college for junior and senior years, but it was a great school and I made sure I worked hard at earning good grades because of that.) Within the first week of college, I changed my major to Deaf Studies and interpreting. Career choice three: sign language interpreter. During the course of my Deaf Studies degree, a Deaf professor mentioned that the Deaf flock to psychologists that can sign since they would not have to have a third person (the interpreter) in the room while discussing their personal stories. The seed was planted and I studied psychology for my BA. After working as an interpreter for about six years, I began feeling like a paid parrot and started working over the next six years at various jobs. AIDS education, public relations, physical therapy aid, equity theatre ticket sales, science educator and office management, though not careers, became part of my resume. I had to retool my approach to work for each and every one of them. All of this non-career work prompted me to refocus on career. Back to school I went to earn my MA in Counseling Psychology. Now I am retooling my focus on the next career goal: private practice and the eventual return to school.

I have retooled my idea of where I wish to take up residence. After leaving New York to pursue my MA and life in Colorado, I had planned to end up in or around Oregon. As life and relationships changed, the plan became returning to the East Coast, close enough to Long Island, but NOT Long Island. We landed in Rhode Island, which is a great little state to reside in but the economy started to tank there before the rest of the country. Groovy had plans on returning to school so our thoughts were retooled to residing again on LI for a few years. As wonderful as it is to be near family and friends, it does not feel like the right place for me long term. Having experience the mountains while being too far from loved ones and being close to loved ones but too far from any mountains (yes, Bald Hill certainly does not count), my thoughts have been retooled towards upstate: closer to mountains but not too far from loved ones. This feels like an appropriate retooling.

We have retooled the apartment in which we currently live (a few times). Most recently, the dining area of the kitchen (which we had rarely used for dining) has morphed into an art, bunny, reading nook. The space is again being used.

I have retooled my approach towards fitness and eating. Fitness was about competition in sports alone, not about what is best for my body and mind. Food was strictly about what I wanted. Yoga has become a daily necessity since beginning my challenge. It does not matter if I get it in at midnight, my day is not complete without my practice. After experiencing a month of raw foods, and realizing that one hundred percent raw is too much for me to sustain, incorporating a higher percentage of raw foods is doable. I am now trying to retool my approach food as nutrition. When I allow a food for pleasure, I will enjoy it at such in order to feel satisfied. All of this is different from my approach of the past.

Each view and approach that I retool is not set in stone, for the World and I will continue changing. It is all part of the adventure that is life.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

lewd midgets?

Yes, someone found my blog via Google searching "lewd midgets." Brilliant!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

calm begets calm

Life does not need to be as complex and stressful as people, organizations and government makes it, but often it is. Since chaos tends to beget chaos, carrying a sense of calm can defuse the some of chaos that may surround us and make daily living full of ease. The more people take this approach, the more the chaos in the world will dissipate.

In my life, chaos mostly surrounds me at work. Sometimes it is a single client that is immersed and emitting erratic energy and behaviors, sometimes it is the inherent manic energy of the mental health system and sometimes it is an internal struggle that is riling up the waters of the soul. There are times when all of these and more happen concurrently.

How do I deal with this? For me, it's a combination of rational thoughts, keeping myself grounded, surrounding myself with supportive, loving people, setting solid boundaries between work and life, and having a daily yoga practice. There are times when some of these get off-kilter. I can feel this immediately and know I need to consciously get them back in check.

I often wonder if being submerged in chaos will eventually take it's toll on me. This makes me ponder how to make work itself more calm and also makes me think about future career goals. One thing I am sure of is having a private practice in a model that works for me; one which is calming for my clients and myself.

I am excited about what the future holds on so many levels.. My hope is to continue facing it all with as much calm as I can embody. Om shanti.

Monday, September 7, 2009

the gods give me a thumbs up

dear money god and/or gods,

please provide me
and my family
with a huge windfall of money

i promise to do right with it

i will pay off my debt
give a better life to me and my family
and give back to humanity
more than i am capable to
at the moment

i (and my bank account) eagerly await your reply
thank you

Friday, September 4, 2009

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

liar, liar pants on fire

Yesterday, I had the elderly father of a client yell at me in the waiting room that I am a liar*. Deep yogic breath kept me calm. This was over his confusion about the son's appointment time. They had the incorrect day. I always give clients a written appointment card and the father had confirmed the appointment with me the week before. I even had him repeat the appointment back to me to make sure he got it right. Regardless, I apologized for any miscommunication and asked if he would like to reschedule. He angrily replied that "all of you social workers are the same!" Ha! The knowledge that I am an MHC and not a SW gave me an internal chuckle, which also helped me stay level and calm.

I am sure my supervisor will be getting a phone call soon. Ah well, it is all part of the job and I can keep good humor about it. At least there is rarely a dull moment.

*People who know me, know that honesty is a quality of mine.

lose some blood, people

For someone who is not a fan of any form of medical settings (including the veterinarian's office) and for someone who donated for the first time in his life in July, guess who pointed out that it is almost time to donate whole blood again?

Groovy, I'm impressed!

Looks like this weekend includes giving blood. Yeah!