Monday, October 27, 2008

it is the only me i can be

little jackie

I was unaware that Imani Coppola started a new project, but now I am aware. And I share with you:

Here's another video that may be offensive to some (but entertaining to me):

Sunday, October 26, 2008

stay at home dads get some props

Stay at home dads are a demographic that has been ignored for far too long by ganster rap. - Watch more free videos

Saturday, October 25, 2008


Originally uploaded by misslissa13
Amazing that a little goofiness can lead to some creepy photos. As I continue on with the 365 project, I have begun attempting to add a little creativity to the mix. These photos (larger individual shots on flickr, click the photo or the side bar flickr icon to get there) were taken while I was jokingly lying upside-down on the exercise ball with the ceiling light overhead. I was aiming for a simple and silly photo, but after viewing the first one (not pictured here), it looked a little creepy. So in lieu of silliness, I worked with the creepiness that occurred.

Well, I am off to get Sherman's nails tamed, then I heading in to the city with my pops to the PhotoPlus Expo.

Gonna get my photo-groove on!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

dear dr schnookleheimer

Here's a letter and response from the "Dear Prudence" column and I just had to add my two cents at the bottom. Read on:

Mr. Right Is Never Wrong My genius boyfriend wins every argument, and I'm sick of it.

Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20s and have been dating for three years. We have a really strong relationship in almost every way, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. But here's the rub: My boyfriend is a genius. In so many ways, I love this about him. He challenges me to think about things, I am constantly learning, and he is always honest and rational. Unfortunately, these last two qualities have caused a bit of strain. I consider myself a very intelligent person also—nowhere near his level, but I've always felt confident academically. This sometimes takes a hit when I am around him. I rarely win arguments because I simply can't keep up with him. In matters of politics or world issues, this can be frustrating, but it doesn't really raise my ire. However, sometimes his argumentative style and calculating rationale are applied to our relationship. In many situations, I feel as though I am the one who has to compromise because he always wins the argument. I know my positions are reasonable, but I just can't articulate them as well as he does. I have talked to my boyfriend about this, but I think he has a hard time seeing my point of view—that though my feelings may not always be logical or rational, they are still valid. Am I being unreasonable for wanting a little bit of slack, or should I just accept that I'm dating Dr. Manhattan and let it go?

—In Love With a Super Computer

Dear In Love,
Did you conclude on your own that your boyfriend is a genius, or is this one of the things he had to articulate to poor, dumb you? I don't know what his IQ is, but his emotional intelligence comes in somewhere around "dolt." I'll take your word that you're dating a virtual Einstein, but take mine that he's an arrogant twit who's got you confusing bullying for brilliance. It's also possible he has some kind of disorder that leaves him unable to process the feelings of others. If so, he should be seeking help, or else he is destined to go through life alienating co-workers, friends, and loved ones like you. Actually, you might want to examine why you have spent three years being told by Mr. Spock that what you say has no validity because it lacks rationality. Mr. Spock and Dr. Manhattan are effective characters because while they seem human, their lack of emotion and empathy means they aren't quite. So give your mastermind a copy of Emotional Intelligence and tell him it's about a subject in which he's deficient, but it's important for the two of you that he learn.



Dear In Love,

While everybody has their strengths, they also have their weaknesses. A boyfriend who does not validate your views and feelings is nothing more than an insecure and covertly mentally abusive individual. A love partner should not make you feel inferior even when their strength in one particular area is better than yours.

It is not possible that his side of EVERY disagreement is the right one. That is not realistically nor statistically possible. When a person is made to feel "wrong" all the time, they eventually stop bothering, begin to self doubt and their self esteem lessens.

A loving person does not flaunt their strengths and invalidate their partners. A loving person accepts the differences in the one they love, supports their partner's strengths and both encourages and supports them in improving their weak spots (in a loving, non-condescending way).

Here are some things to consider:

Does he constantly surround himself only with people who "blow smoke up his ass"?

Does he insult, put down, or point out the flaws of those who are not "blowing smoke" or (worse) are challenging his views?

Do your family and friends dislike him or merely tolerate him because you love him?

Does he always make excuses or declines activities and celebrations when it involves your friends and family?

Does he fail to acknowledge or praise you on anything you do?

Does he rarely compliment you?

Does he not encourage you to pursue your own goals and dreams if it does not involve him?

Does he belittle your goals or imply that they are not important?

Does he lie to others to make himself look better?

Does he try to convince you that your friends or family are not worth being around?

Does he seek attention (covertly or overtly) from other women?

If you want to talk about something he's done wrong, does he turn it around to somehow be your fault?

Do you find yourself having to continuously point out his good points to friends and family to explain why you are with him?

Is your self esteem even slightly lower than when you started dating him?

Would you be unhappy if, ten years from now, he still is not validating your feelings and continues to treat you the exact same way?

As a therapist and someone who has dated a guy with these traits, I think it is valid for me to say: If you answered yes to even one of these questions, run! Any of these on top of what you have already described is an unhealthy relationship with an insecure individual that will likely end up hurting your own self esteem.

You are worthy of being treated with respect and love. You are worthy being in a relationship that enhances who you are and your views and feelings are, not only validated, but encouraged.

—Dr Schnookleheimer

(More on finding maitri)

Monday, October 20, 2008

to sleep perchance to....not wake up until morning

Originally uploaded by misslissa13
I have not been sleeping well lately. I fall asleep no problem, but inevitably wake up at 3 or 4 in the morning. Weekdays, weekends, it does not matter. Then I lay there, wide eyed trying to force them closed. I toss and turn and my thoughts are all over the place. My only solution is to get up and turn the television on and then, like magic, I am able to fall back to sleep for an hour. The biggest problem is the couch is not so comfortable anymore. Misshapen cushions and pillows. It is a sofa bed so I probably should open the dang thing up. Maybe I will try just going to sleep on that to see if I can get a full night sleep without waking up. I guess anything is worth a try since this has been going on for at least two weeks now. Perhaps the strangest thing is I am able to function throughout the day and feel relatively awake in the late evening.

Hey Universe! What's going on with this lack of sleep thing?

Monday, October 13, 2008

the word of the day is today

Today has become my mantra.
Today is the day I do, rather than plan to do.
Today is the day I live.
Today is the only day I have.
Today I can think about tomorrow or yesterday or last year,
but only as inspiration for today.
Today I am the best me I can be.


I feel like setting sail to find a new world.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

embracing light

embracing light
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
I have not been in a writing mood lately.
But I think it's time to break the silence.
I feel something is missing when I am not expressing myself.

Something has shifted in me and I am trying to embrace it.
More to come.