Friday, March 28, 2008

it's my birthday....

and I'll "om" if I want to.

Spent my birthday working during the day, then went to yoga class in the evening. One would think that would be uneventful and mundane, but nothing in my life tends to happen without something interesting weaved into it. While waiting at the light of a two lane turn lane, I notice my mother is right behind us in her little Honda on her way to class (wave enthusiastically in the rear view). There was a car to my right, luxury sedan. Light turns green, we all commence moving, lanes problem: me/Greg, luxury sedan, then mom. I turn in to the parking lot, followed by sedan, followed by mom. Well, luxury sedan decides to back out of the lot in order to park on the street. Unfortunately, she did not see mom in her Honda....CRUNCH, CRACK, OY! At first she thought she hit a curb, but then she realized that curb was mom. (She little....but not THAT little.)

They both park and look at the damage. Mom's front end is quite crunked up, luxury sedan scratched up. Sigh. Now, mom being mom and awesome like that, she suggests they both take the yoga class and deal with it after. (I went something like, "You might think I'm crazy, but let's take yoga first,then we'll deal with this." My mom rocks!)

Class was great. Aaahhhhh.

After, I suggested that they make a police report because luxury sedan could very easily change her story and say mom rear ended her. So cops are called...and we wait....and wait.....AND wait. In the meantime, we had a pleasant time talking, laughing and sharing stories with luxury sedan and her husband (who came down for moral support). Probably the most fun had after a fender bender....ever.

So there you have it, my a parking lot, after a fender bender, in the rain, laughing. Well, I must admit, my birthday is never dull. It would be nice to see luxury sedan again, perhaps at another class, or the Cinema Arts Center...I just hope we don't arrive to the parking lot at the same time. ;)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008


Sometimes I just need to take a step back and take a break.
Sometimes I need to unplug from the World and step my feet bare on the Earth.
Sometimes I just need to cry in order to have release.
Sometimes I enjoy solitude.
Sometimes I feel that I need to be surrounded by bustle and noise.
Sometimes I treat myself with loving kindness.
Sometimes I like to be selfish.
Sometimes I have order in my life.
Sometimes the chaos fuels me.
Sometimes I think of opportunities lost.
Sometimes I reevaluate the next planned step.
Sometimes I feel ugly.
Sometimes I am extremely hard on myself.
Sometimes I feel disappointment.
Sometimes I cannot express myself.
Sometimes I create art.
Sometimes I create a mess.
Sometimes I stuff down my emotions.
Sometimes I yell from the top of a mountain.
Sometimes I just need a nap.
Sometimes my mind feels numb when I have not learned anything new in a while.
Sometimes I get bored.
Sometimes I am so filled with joy that I could explode.
Sometimes I recognize my successes.
Sometimes I need encouragement.
Sometimes I feel happy where I am at.
Sometimes I want more.
Sometimes I feel total relaxation.

I know everything is how it should be at this very moment.

I always feel loved.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

p.s. my boyfriend rocks

holy crud, he really does!

did someone say, "rooster"???

The commencement of my 36st trip around the sun begins soon but I have work, yoga class, and family visiting on the actual day.... so I'm thinking Saturday, 3/29 for some 35th (plus some days) Birthday Celebratin' with friends......

To me, the best birthday gift is to spend time with friends and family, especially important ever since a tragic event on my 28th birthday (some of you know what that is, for others, email me if you are curious. I don't think I will blog about it since it is just part of my past.) I enjoy picking a time and place and having friends show up. There is usually a lot of laughing and reuniting of people who haven't seen each other in some time. This brings me joy. As we grow older and start getting busy with many different things, it seems to be more difficult for people to get together. I'm hoping this year will be filled with many friends, old and new...even if it is for only an hour or so. That would me the most to me.

Who's in for some low-key, goofy fun times with a rubber ball? (I have no idea what that means.)

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Monday, March 10, 2008

on turning 35

Originally uploaded by misslissa13
I have been having trouble writing lately. Getting my thoughts in order, getting my life in order, order within the chaos. There is this recent struggle between me and my relationship with the number 35. Birthday's and getting older never really bother me, but this year, my 35th revolution around the sun (towards the end of the month), I feel intensely self-reflective, introspective and perhaps a little pensive.

Maybe with age comes wisdom or at least deeper awareness. I am experiencing a greater awareness of the line between internal and external, that point where they touch and blend, and how that line moves or exists in multiple places simultaneously, and even how that boundary dissipates without prompting.

There is a greater awareness of relationships with all the people I connect with daily, both physically and by brainwaves only. Observations of how each one affects me and how I affect them, fills my mind.

My awareness of my relationship with myself has grown tremendously. I have noted subtle changes in my thought processes. I have new experiences with and understanding of the emptiness inside. I have explored more of the intricacies of my psyche. I have a new understanding of The Wife and The Mother. I am gaining perspective and clarity on my past. I am healing the split between mind and body, and that rift grows closer every day.

There is so much happening on the internal physically, spiritually and mentally, and I am struggling with the means of getting it to the external. I sense the floodgates with spring open soon.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

once upon a time..

Once upon a time..
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
When I was seven.....

My parents' unfinished basement holds a lot of memories including the side of the stairway. Our pencil sharpener is fastened to the side and those sharp pencils and clean "canvas" tempted us to tag on occasion. Many years back, my mother wanted to repaint the stairs, so I asked if she can leave the side "as is".

And, yes, I was called Missy until Junior High School when I became much too "sophisticated" for a nickname so "young sounding".

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

i see the dark

i see the light
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
When I get a little bored, I like to change up the hair. I have no idea why, but it makes me feel better. This week I chose black. Perhaps it is trivial, but sometimes a little pampering can raise the spirits, especially when patiently waiting (I swear, THIS is patience for me) for the State to finish evaluating my credits for my professional permit. I checked in last Friday and they said that it might be a good idea to check back in a few business days since they have been getting these done quicker than usual.

I think it is the unknown that is the most difficult. I either have all the classes or I do not. If I still do not know by the end of the week, perhaps a new haircut is in order.

mmmm..florescent lighting

mmmm..florescent lighting
Originally uploaded by misslissa13
Anyone have any good and creative ideas (preferably cheap) to do with drop ceiling and overhead, office-like florescent lighting? That's what is in the apartment and I want it to feel a little more home-like and a little less like an office. It makes for some serious badly lighted self photos.