Monday, June 13, 2011

my life is not a timeline

I wasn't going to write this morning but while downing my second cup of coffee something is compelling me to get some of my thoughts out in writing. So here it goes:

The past few months I have been working six-day work weeks. Five days at a full time gig and one day at a private office. The full time place is where I've been for three years. It was always a distance to travel to but once I moved into the house my commute became much too long. Gas prices and all the extra time in the car became too much, so I started looking for another place to hang my hat for eight hours a day. A few resume submissions later, I landed a three-day position working with the geriatric population. Though it was the same commute, it was only three days and I would be traveling towards the lovely East End of Long Island. It is a beautiful commute passing farm stands, vineyards and quaint towns. I figured, what the heck. I would gain experience working with the only population I hadn't focused on so I said yes.

I had submitted my required four weeks notice at my full time job and was thrilled about this new adventure in my career. The first two weeks I had jury duty on top of the full time gig and my private clients.My exhaustion has been evident to everyone around me. Forgetfulness, stress and insomnia have taken over my days. Then, last week a bomb dropped. The job offer had been rescinded by the higher up boss. I was so taken aback I just responded with an "okay, well thank you anyway" and hung up the phone.

My head spinning, I couldn't even think. Later that day, my iced tea cap reminded me "the sun will come out tomorrow"
and I got this photo
which promptly reminded me that there are more important things in my life. Everything will be okay.

I have always believed that I land the jobs I am supposed to have. It took me a few days to find the lesson in this rescinded offer and the loss of ground but last night it hit me. I have learned to let go of the fear. I am surrendering to the unknown and it is okay. There are some options and, ultimately, none of them are wrong. They are just the next choice I make and if that one does not work out, there will be another choice to make later.

The lesson:
My life is not a timeline, it is a river with many twists and turn. There is even and eddy or two every now and then. Sometimes you have to flow with water and see where it takes you, and other times you have to swim like the dickens to get what you want. It is always vital to have a picnic on the bank on a regular basis (ah, self care). Currently, I need to surrender and flow with the water. It just feels right.
Now where are my inner tube and water wings? 


bumby said...

Doc! You have been having quite the eventful year. As always I admire your ability to gain pespective. flow on.

I do recognize your reaction to the whole 'rescind' notification, sounds like me, "Oh, Okay"


Melissa said...

flow on.
now i have to pee.