A little soap-boxing about how people dress (triggered by hoodies and the "pants half down the ass" look)

What people don't realize is how you present yourself to the world affects how the world views you. Sure, other droopy-pants friends think they look just fine, but there are a lot more people in the world viewing you. Of course, people should not judge by appearance alone, but we naturally perceive things first by appearance. That is the first thing we know about a person: how they look/dress/walk/talk. Story after story on the news about kids in thug-wear committing crimes helps you form a subconscious (and often conscious) correlation between thug behavior and thug wear. Then you see someone wearing a hoodie and pants half down their ass, your mind will bring up the conditioned connection. Of course, a person's character and actions are a much better gauge of who they are but we see half their ass first and start to form a preconceived idea from that.

This certainly applies to other forms of dress as well: Dressing like a hooker, wearing dirty work clothes to anywhere other than work, mixing hot pink pants/chartreuse shirt/purple blouse/one plaid/one paisley shoe/three hats/47 bangle bracelets, walking around naked at the park. I just used the hoodie/droopy pants as an example because of current events.  

(note: the thug pic above is an actual thug. Surveillance video still of a liquor store robber.)

get a job???

I must admit that I allow myself to get triggered by the averring of those people with jobs to the unemployed to "GET A JOB!" I'm not looking to complain or whine, but only to open some peoples' minds and possibly foster some empathy towards people that are struggling.

Here's my story:

I was not only working my last full time job for three years, but I was also working one day a week in a private therapy office renting space. Having purchased a home much further away from the full time job, I started searching for, and found, a job in the county that I reside. I did the right thing and put in my required four week notice at my full time job. Well at the three week mark, the new job offer was rescinded.

I requested to extend my resignation to give myself a cushion to continue job searching but the agency did not allow it. Fortunately, at the private group practice I was renting space at, the income was good. I continued my job search for a full time work but at least there was some income for me. Then that office I was renting was no longer available for rent.

I have continued my job search, started renting an independent therapy office, I have registered with two temp agencies, I am sending out copies of my resume to openings every week and even pounding the pavement for seasonal work. I have three college degrees and a solid work history. Does any of this sound lazy to you?

I still have no job. The temp agencies haven't had much. The private therapy practice is growing slowly but not yet covering the cost of my rent and additional insurance so I am not even breaking even. I am considered over-qualified for seasonal work that I am very willing to do. Then there is the fact that, though employers are not legally allowed to discriminate or be swayed against pregnant applicants, it's more difficult for a pregnant woman to get hired.

So, when you say or re-post those "Get a job" sentiments think first because it can be perceived as hurtful. Being unemployed and unable to find work to provide for your family despite trying is a difficult situation to handle. So please don't criticize and make assumptions about us. Are there lazy people in this world? Of course there are. Some of them are even employed and don't do squat while at their jobs, but I assume by your posts that they probably have value to you because they've got a job.

Get a job? I'm trying.

love you life and it will love you (most of the time)

These past couple of weeks seem to be filled with intensity.

Health scare/health scare not existing
Connecting with people/hearing about the death of an amazing person
Being in an unfulfillable place/doors opening
Being asked to be a godmother/not having a church to certify my holy-roliness

It fascinates me how energy seems to find balance, whether it is some mellow medium or at extremes.

What also fascinates me, sometimes in a scary way, are religious extremists. I'm not even referring to the ones you see on the news, as scary as they are with their violence and hatred. What I am talking about are people that have found Jesus/religion (not a bad thing) but then take it to the extreme as if it were an addiction. That's the part that I find scary. I have seen self-proclaimed saved people spew hatred for others because their belief system is the only right one and the others are wrong, wrong, wrong. Seems to me that if your belief system truly is the only right one, then why worry about other peoples' beliefs if they are not directly harming yours? Their beliefs do not make your beliefs untrue, why do you get so upset about it? It's not good for your blood pressure and it certainly isn't good P.R. for your religion: "Our way is right, your way sucks. Hey, you wanna convert?"

I am all for faith, spirituality and religious freedom, but I am against hatred towards others because they don't call their god God. And why attack a holy book based on what you think it says, why not read it and judge for yourself? Reading another religion's holy book does not mean you agree with it. At the very least, read Aldous Huxley's Perennial Philosophy and maybe you will start to realize that there is a common truth throughout all the major religions so there really is no need for ire.

Then take the positive energy you have from your beliefs and help your community. Don't waste time on hatred, it's unproductive. Be a mentor, donate time in a food pantry at a time other than the holidays, visit an elderly neighbor, donate money to a cause you believe in, walk a shelter dog, become a foster parent, start a neighborhood clean up, or smile at someone on the street that may even have a different faith than you. Positive energy can balance out as much as angry energy in a much nicer way.

Do good in this world and it will all be good, no matter what god/God/goddess/Yahweh/spaghetti monster you pray to...

and always....Om Puppy.

get off your ass, stop posting on facebook...

...and actually DO something.

As I watch more and more people changing the profile pictures to cartoon characters "to promote awareness of child abuse," "to help end the cycle of abuse" and "to join the fight against child abuse" I find myself getting more irritated.

Awareness is great but how about doing something more than just changing your profile picture and copying-pasting a blurb from the last person's post? How about going out and volunteering a few hours with Big Brothers/Big Sisters or the Boys and Girls Club? How about donating needed items or money to organizations that are helping? How about volunteering at an adolescent/teen shelter? How about becoming a foster parent and giving a loving home to an abused or neglected child?

First start taking action, then post what you are doing. Don't post for the praise and admiration of being a good person, but to encourage others to take action, too. I am sure an abused child does not look at your facebook picture and think, "Wow, that guy posted a picture of Underdog so now my father won't beat me anymore!" When you take action, that same child can believe that there are people that will truly care.

Thanks for hearing me rant. If my anger encourages even one of you, I'd be satisfied.

In gassho,
Melissa

mad as heck and emailing in ire

After taking the dog out for a final walk before bedtime, I noted the foul synthetic skunk-like chemical smell looming heavy in the air. Chemical warfare to kill off the mosquitoes, I presumed. Upset with myself for not checking the county's website for spray areas this week, I logged on to not my area was NOT included in the spray area. Either they sprayed here anyway, or this chemical crap travels even without a breeze. My ire got the best of me and I emailed the county executive office (I was tired and didn't proof read, so excuse any typos/grammatical woopses):

Dear Mr. Levy, et al:

Want to know what's bugging me? Mosquitoes? No. Getting a fine mist of toxic chemicals sprayed over my area for a potential threat of catching a potentially fatal bug spread virus is flaming my ire.

Look at the stats for 2009:

U.S. Population: 305,529,237 (estimated)
Total number of West Nile Infections: 720*
Fatalities from West Nile: 32*
Even the year with the highest number of cases in 2001 the risk was still minuscule.

Is this worth dousing people with known liver tumor producing and fish killing chemical warfare in light of the statistics? Who makes the decision on who gets toxic crap dumped on them and who gets spared? Not the people getting doused, that is for sure. Indeed I know there is the "no spray" list, which does not help people that rent and does nothing for aerial spraying. Look at the stats of how many people died from cancer last year and compare that to the risk of West Nile infections and fatalities. It is frightening that the powers that be are that short sighted that they cannot properly weigh the risks and benefits. These chemicals are toxic and will absolutely have an impact on the environment, people and ecosystem.

Thank you for reading my rant.

Sincerely,

Melissa S****** (nee M*********)


*stats published by the CDC

the true buzz

Want to know what's bugging me? Mosquitoes? No. Getting a fine mist of toxic chemicals sprayed over my area for a potential threat of catching a potentially fatal bug spread virus.

Here's the stats for 2009:

U.S. Population: 305,529,237 (estimated)
Total number of West Nile Infections: 720*
Fatalities from West Nile: 32*

Worth dousing millions of people with known liver tumor producing chemical warfare? Hey government who makes the decision on who gets toxic crap dumped on them, how many people died from cancer last year?

This crap makes me mad. Truly mad.



*stats published by the CDC

so full of mini rants lately

(Paraphrased with actual date error)

College radio DJ: "...and the song before that was John Lennon "God" in which he mentions the line 'I don't believe in Buddha'. Here's a conspiracy theory for you: John Lennon was shot dead in front of the Dakota on December 7 and the Buddha reached enlightenment December 8th. Coincidence?"

Excuse me, Ms. Unenlightened College DJ, Lennon was murdered on the 8th, but that error aside... Conspiracy theory? Are you f'ing kidding me??? You are a dolt. Scholars, historians and theologians debate what year Buddha was born, and you know his exact enlightenment date how??? The Buddha is not worshiped as a deity. His teachings express that he is just a man not to be worshiped, so why would it be a problem to not believe in him? Plus, do you really think that someone who taught non-violence and avoidance of suffering (including causing no harm to others) would be tied into a conspiracy murder.

Okay, I am done ranting now and am going to go meditate to let go of my annoyance with radio DJs who talk out of their asses. Ommmmmmmm...

dear mr. parking-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road-at-night-with-your-headlights-on guy

Dear Mr. Parking-on-the-Wrong-Side-of-the-Road-at-Night-with-your-Headlights-on Guy:

While you are sitting there in the dark awaiting your friend/family/drug dealer to come out of the house, I would really appreciate it if you would be so kind as to SHUT YOUR DANG HEADLIGHTS OFF AND STOP BLINDING OTHERS!!!

Honestly, I have no problem of you breaking parking laws, I have no problem that you do this parking technique rather than inconvenience yourself, and I even have no problem that you are self-important. What I do have a problem with is that you are so clueless about the fact that you are blinding everyone driving in the opposite directions. Just SHUT THE DARN LIGHTS OFF...please.

You don't even have to strain your wrist by double clicking to get the parking lights off as well. Really, just one small click off and on small click on again when you are ready to pull off the curb. It is not difficult to do and I believe you have the capability. This simple move would take the urge away from me of smashing into your front bumper out of principle subsequently forcing some behavioral modification on you since you would not do this again after such an accident. You and I both know that voluntarily creating a new habit of shutting of your lights would be a much cheaper lesson.

Thank you and happy holidays.

Sincerely,

Melissa

open letter to all the katie couric's of the world

Dear Media:

Please stop beating stories to death, especially when the are inconsequential to most people in the world. I am tired of hearing, over and over again, about celebrity indiscretions, or about the tree the fell due to wind that did minimal damage and did not affect anyone or thing other than the tree. We, the viewing public, get it: people may or may not cheat on their spouses and strong wind can knock trees down. No need to repeat ad nauseum.

Instead, tell us about vital news stories that affect us and the world, repeat some positive uplifting happenings on human experiences, and stop answering your questions within the question of interviews.

Much thanks,

Melissa

frightening

I was just considering... ...watching Jerry Springer in order to NOT hear about Michael Jackson.

"i am not eating that unhealthy tidbit...."

"...but I'll feed it to my family."


Oh this annoys me to no end. So often I hear adults on personal weight loss journeys talk about the junk foods that that are rebuking in their quest for better health. This is wonderful, but unfortunately this is often followed by, "My kids will eat it." It upsets me that people would be so concerned with their own weight and health, but find it perfectly acceptable for their children to eat unhealthy stuff in their own houses. Do not get me wrong, I understand that kids will often buy and consume unhealthy items when at school or when hanging out with their friends, but their deep seated habits are formed at home.

Though I have had my struggles with food and healthy choices. I am grateful that my family of origin made healthier foods and behaviors a staple in our house. I was always the kid with whole wheat bread for my jelly and banana sandwiches and skim milk was introduced early on. Going to fast food restaurants was a rare event. To this day, I could not imagine buying white bread (even "enriched" - what a joke) and gag at the thought of whole milk. Today, the only thing that I choose to put cow's milk in is coffee. My whole grain cereal gets nice cold rice milk.

My parents have been into fitness for as long as I remember. Jogging, yoga, weight training and sports were a given in my household. My brother and I were encouraged to go play outside and run around on any (and every) nice day...and we did and we loved it! We now have so many fun and fond memories thanks to this.

Our parents' positive influence is helping us well into our adult years. My brother, who is a few years older than me, still plays ice hockey and softball (on multiple leagues, no less) and I have reignited my inner yogini and fitness nut. I shop for whole foods and find joy in healthy eating now. All of these healthy habits were established and reinforced in the family. Heck, my father still weight lifts and plays golf, mom hits her weekly yoga class and walks most days.

I thank the Universe every day for the family I have. Hey, Universe! Thank you for giving me parents that were not "health hypocrites."

image from health in motion

twitter, too, shall pass

"I just ate three oatmeal cookies."

"Just ran into a door frame! Boy am I clumsy!"

"Can you believe that episode of John and Kate????"

"Yay, I'm happy Obama nominated a female for the Supreme Court."

"Going to brush my teeth."

"Heading to the food store to get bunny num-nums."

"Sharpening a pencil"

"Should I wear the pink shirt or the blue today?"

"Did you see Ashton's tweet???? OMG! I can't believe it!"

"*yawn*"

"Can anyone else wait for Twitter to die?"

"Can you believe you keep reading these stupid tweets?"

"Y does every news show consider the 'phenomenon' of Twitter news worthy?"

"Taking bets on when Twitter will die a slow painful death."

"soon, I hope."

research the meaning of "question," mr. reporter person!

Sometimes I wonder whether news reporters are interested in asking questions or simply providing the answers in question form so they look "well researched." Have you noticed this trend?

Reporter, "So, Mr. Smith, you have saved the lives of 27 people by swooping down with a home made helicopter you built in your garage out of spare car parts. You threw down your home thrown nets and scooped the sinking victims up and flying them to safety. What a gratifying feeling it is to save people. How did you save them and how did you feel after?"

Mr. Smith, "Yes, that is how I did it and I did feel gratified."

Oy vey!

Reporters stating the obvious cracks me up:

Actual reporter on the news, "Chrysler now needs to manufacture vehicles that people actually want to buy and can afford."

Fake Chrysler Exec watching newscast, "Shoot! If only we had put that in our previous business plans, we may have been successful...(mumbling to self) cars people WANT to buy...why didn't I think of that????"

*sigh*

preposterous!

Smithtown, NY is "[m]aking changes to the area's zoning category, Wholesale and Service Industry, to permit more uses would update an antiquated list of businesses - which still includes, for instance, burlap and cabbage product manufacturing."

Now where am I going to get my burlap and cabbage products?????

i am for animal testing...

...if it is for taste-testing a new flavor of dog food.

"New beefy-goodness! Sign me up!!" - Fido

------------------------------------

In reality, I am split on the animal testing issue. I do not believe that everyday items, such as cosmetics and household cleaners need testing on animals. But medical research and biological education is another story. This is where I am on the other side of the issue. (Yes, I know. *sternly wagging finger* "tsk tsk tsk Bad vegetarian!" *bop on nose with rolled newspaper*) It still breaks my heart and I could not personally take the life of an animal for such reasons, but I sure am thrilled that I never contracted small pox!

Yes, I am selfish like that.

well, i never!

I have never had any children I cannot afford...
... so I do not receive handouts and donations to care for them.

I have never committed a crime...
...so I do not receive a free college education or technical training in an emerging field.

I have never failed at a job causing an enormous financial meltdown...
...so I do not get a million dollar bonus.

I have never scammed millions of dollars from innocent people...
...so I do not have tons of money hidden away.

Something is askew in the World, is it not?

However, I do sleep well at night knowing that my parents raised me right and that I am an honest, hard working individual. Perhaps I am getting paid in karma points! And really, who can put a price on that???

let's spin, shall we

Unemployment rate jumps to 8.1% in the US.

Well, on the upside 91.9% ARE employed! Whew!

um....?

The economy is tanking. Hard-working, honest individuals are losing their jobs and do not have the money to go back to school...... yet, prisoners are being rehabilitated by being trained in new, up-and-coming fields of "green technology" while being housed and fed on taxpayer money...

So, in a few years, all the ex-cons will have high paying skilled jobs in a burgeoning field, while those that have not committed crimes will still be in the same position.

Am I missing something, or has the world gone all wacky-like?

Now, do not get me wrong. Rehabilitating criminals with the possibility of actually becoming productive members of society is important, but, come on.....

It is almost as ridiculous as professional athletes making millions for playing a game while Joe-shmoe busts his but 60 hours a week for minimum wage to feed his family a semi-decent meal.

Somethings got to give!

*end rant now*

what inauguration?

Hey, did you hear Obama is getting inaugurated today? How can you not, it's on every news channel! Now don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that Bush is out in a few hours and curious to see if change is in the air, but is there not other things happening in the world? Have you noticed in recent years that more and more the news will fixate on one single news story (and sometimes an un-newsworthy story) and beat it to a pulp? The "Miracle on the Hudson", the Casey Anthony story, the inauguration, what Michelle Obama is wearing and (my ultimate favorite) a SNOW STORM IN WINTER (god forbid)!!!!

Yes, some of these are valid stories indeed, but how many times can you hear the same information over and over, verbatim? (and, Long Islanders, I'm not just talking News12).

Not only does the media spin things so fast you can get dizzy, but they distract you from the real important topics by repeating fluff. (Who cares that women everywhere went out and bought the Sarah Palin glasses?!??!) People distract themselves enough from reality with American Idol and MySpace. We do not need the media doing it for us.

vfw