I've been thinking about how difficult this is for my mother; the strong woman who takes everything on with little support, less help and even less complaining. I wonder what I can do to take some of the pain away from her. I wonder where she gets her strength from. I wonder if she knows how much I admire her and am grateful that she is my mother. I think about how much my grandfather is probably surrounding her with love and support since he is definitely her guardian angel.
I wonder if I can get my shit together or at least temporarily pack it aside in order to be more present in what is going on with both of them. I think about doing all that I can to not have any regrets like the one I have from when my "2nd mother" passed away. It is not so much a regret, as it was a lost opportunity.
I have been thinking about love and family. I have been thinking about life and the future. I have been remembering joyful memories. I have been thinking about marriage and children. I have been pondering the differences and similarities between giving up and letting go. And I have come to the conclusion that I am enough, no matter what I am and where I am at.