Not only have I been selected for jury duty, but I am juror number one.
Hello!
My name is
juror #1
So with the way my mind works, I started thinking of things I would love to do (if it weren't going to get me a contempt of court charge). Feel free to share your ideas in the comment section (I am still trying to caffeinate myself).
Announce the verdict in the character of Flo from the Progressive commercials
"We, the jury, find the defendant has "guilt and glitter"
or
"You're INNOCENT!!!! YYYYAY" *blow a party horn*
Present it in the voice of Sesame Street's Count
One, One juror says guilty haha ha haTwo, two jurors say guilty haha ha ha
Have a #1 foam finger with me at all times
Put a smiley face and a letter grade on the written verdict
Grab the judges gavel and replace it with a children's squeaky hammer
Put a smiley face sticker on the judges gavel and remind her to "smile, the jury loves you"
Wear a party hat and an over-sized "birthday girl" button every day of the trail
Wear hockey gear and hang a sign that says "penalty box" in front of the juror seats
Listen to the trial with an old fashioned ear horn "so I don't miss anything"
If the judge allows note taking, start drawing a court artist rendition of the courtroom in crayon
Have guilty written on my eyelid and wink at the defendant
Wear the same outfit every day of the trial but in a progressively bigger size. When questioned, tell the judge "I got exposed to some experimental perfume from my husband's company"
I will gladly accept other ideas you may have, my creative little buggers, and welcome any gifts of foam fingers. Now off to The Duty!
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