Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
And yet, how many of us do just that? Long term habits are so deeply ingrained. Whether it's biting our nails, dating people with the same baggage as all our previous lovers, taking the same type of job that gives no satisfaction, repeated patterns of communication with family members or any vice we have, they are hard to stop. We hope, pray, and desire things to be different, better, more tolerable, or happier, yet we are not doing anything different to make that happen.
So, how do we change this? As always, awareness is the first step. We cannot change something we do not know is happening, true? Next, we need to explore the things that are in our power to change. These are usually internal: our actions or reactions to triggers. We can sometimes change the environment and external factors, but don't expect to change other people. That is a huge uphill battle with an greased elephant on our backs and swim-fins on our feet, that will probably just exhaust us, give us blisters on the backs of our heals and make our shirts oil stained. After that, figuring out what our specific triggers are is vital. This awareness makes it possible to put into action the different mindset or behavior in order to break the cycle.
I see my own insanity. I see how it affects me. I have intercepted some of my own cyclic patterns and I am aware of the ones that are still ingrained. Change is not always easy, but it is constant. It is what change we decide to make in our own lives that is integral.